I have to admit that I hardly ever weigh myself. I don't see the point. The number on the scale fluctuates so much depending on so many different factors that I just can't seem to get an accurate reading. At least that's what I tell myself. And I know that that number is never going to be as low as I'd like it to be. It's just not feasible for me considering my muscle tone (read: the size of my a**... in all seriousness, it is my butt and legs... they are solid). I've come to terms with this, slowly and painfully.
So, how do I tell if all the hard work with my diet and in the gym are paying off? Several ways; one of which is the clothes test. I like to try on a dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner the night before I got married... 3 and 1/2 years ago. I tried that on last week and it fit. I was happy.
But there's a new method I've discovered since becoming a mother and it ain't too pretty. I'll caution you now that what I'm about to write about is not for the faint of heart. Quite frankly I cringe slightly at the thought of writing about it. But I lost my shame when I pushed my first daughter out of my body in front of a room full of people including my husband, my mother, my sister and countless strangers. You get over it.
When you have kids, everything changes. Aside from completely altering your lifestyle, kids, at least for me, have completely altered my body. I've nourished my children with my body and have, in turn, been rewarded with stretch marks and loose skin, not to mention two beautiful and amazing daughters. And this is where my latest method for measuring progress comes in. I check out that sagging skin around my belly and realize that yeah, it looks a little more wrinkly this week. And that's a good thing.
My point is not to gross anyone out or to scare anyone away from having children. What I really want to say is that there comes a point when you realize that there is so much more to life than simply looking good. Of course I want to be fit and look good, I'll be honest. I want to wear a bikini again this summer and slip into some of my pre-pregnancy summer dresses.
But what I really want, beyond anything simply superficial, is to be strong and fit for myself and my family. I want to live a long and healthy life for my daughters and my husband. I want to keep up with them and their boundless energy. And I want to teach my girls what it means to be strong and beautiful, and that the two should and do go together.
Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even our health and well-being. We can't control what life throws at us. But what we can control is how we handle it. So, I've been given two awesome little girls, an amazing husband, a family that constantly makes me laugh, and for the moment, health and well-being.
I'll take that sagging belly skin and cherish it for now. At least I know its a sign of what life has given me and how I've dealt with it.
