The Gambler

Growing up my brothers, sister and myself were huge Kenny Rogers fans. Well, that's not one hundred percent true. My mom had a Kenny Rogers tape that she liked to listen to and by default us four kids grew up knowing the words to "Lucille," "Lady" and "The Gambler," among others. From time to time we will still break out into a four-part harmony of "Lucille." It's like second-nature to us.

My favorite Kenny Rogers song (I never thought I would write that) has to be "The Gambler." Its not just because of the catchy music. Man, those lyrics ring true.

               You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
               Know when to walk away and know when to run.

"Really..." you might be thinking, "what on earth does this have to do with fitness?" So, let me tell my story.

I was at the gym today, working on my military press and accessory movements when on two occasions I spotted the opportunity to help someone. Both instances turned out completely different, and both left me feeling fairly dissatisfied. Here's number one.

A guy I had seen at the gym on several occasions was deadlifting. He walked in, loaded the bar with a 45-pound plate on each side (135 pounds total), and started pulling away. Everything looked good from the beginning (he even took off his shoes!), except when he got to the top. Rather than remain "dead" through the arms at lockout, he was bending at the elbows and doing something sketchy with his upper back. It was like a train wreck; I couldn't help but look.

I knew in my heart what he was doing was not good, and since doing some research (read: asking some meat-head friends about bent arms while deadlifiting and sifting through various forums and sites on the Internet), I have found my suspicions have been confirmed. Bent arms while deadlifting can lead to injury. While I doubt he was lifting heavy enough to tear his biceps (135 is generally a warm-up for me), do you stop someone, especially of the opposite sex, to tell them what they are doing is wrong?

You got to know when to hold 'em. 

And scenario number two: I'm working on my close-grip bench when a woman, probably close to my age, comes over to the bench next to me. With no warm-up set she loads the bar with a 25-pound plate on each side, for a total of 95 pounds, lies down and starts pressing. After a couple of sets she motions for me to come over and spot her. Of course I oblige.

She says she's going for three, and yes, she'll take a lift off. I put my hands on the bar to assist her and without any further communication, she lifts the bar and starts going. She gets an easy three, though she's basically lowering the bar to her collarbone, and quickly racks her weight. As she's sitting up, I tell her that she could have definitely gotten more reps on the set, hoping to encourage her and perhaps even open up a dialogue. She says she's trying to take it slow. I then start to tell her to bring the weight down directly across her chest, motioning with my hands that the bar should pretty much come down even with her nipples (I didn't actually utter the word "nipples" to a total stranger at the gym). Before I could continue trying to help her out, she starts up a conversation with an approaching friend and cuts me off. I didn't even get a "thanks" for the spot.

You got to know when to fold 'em. 

So today's workout brought good old Kenny Rogers to mind and made me wonder just when is the right time to offer up a piece of my mind. Its probably hard for a man to take advice from a woman in general, never mind at the gym. But what he was doing was potentially detrimental to his health. Add another plate on there and he's probably going to be in trouble. I only hope he doesn't go for a max lift with bent arms.

But my fellow sister in iron... don't you want to get better at what you're doing? I'll admit that I can be intimidating at the gym. I lift heavy weights, wear a matching weight belt and shoes (so lame!) and walk around like I own the place. But being a woman in a predominately male environment, you've got to try and stake your claim, and my claim is usually one of the squat racks. When people approach me, though, I will generally greet them with a smile or joke--unless of course they plop themselves down on a piece of equipment I'm using. In that case, out comes the death stare.

I guess I'm just wondering at what point do you reach out to someone at the gym? With my female friend on the bench, I figured it was the opportune moment to help someone. She had asked me for a spot, I gave her encouragement on her lift and tried to offer what little advice I had, only to pretty much be ignored and dismissed. She had shown promise, too. Not often do I see women at my gym on a bench, not to mention benching 95 pounds. Sad, I know.

So next time I see something I question at the gym, I'll have to ask myself if I should hold 'em, fold 'em, walk away or run? Or do I put myself out there and say, "hey... can I show you something...?"

An open letter to Jim Wendler

Dear Mr. Wendler,

First of all, let me confess something: I know virtually nothing about you. I am normally a pretty good researcher; my skills as a small town newspaper reporter occasionally come in handy these days when I forage the Internet for information. I have to admit, though, that I have yet to research you. There is only one thing I have concerned myself with when it comes to you, and that is your 5/3/1 training program.

Which leads me to my next point, which is simply, thank you. The year 2012 was kind of big for me, despite the fact that it did not involve me birthing any more children (there was a time in my life when that was all people expected of me... but that's a different story, for a different time). I say "kind of big" because I finally put myself out there and starting competing. I stepped on the powerlifting platform in October, and two months later followed it up with a Strongman competition. I had a blast at both events and loved every minute of training for them, scrapes, bruises, soreness and all.

But I have to say that without you, I don't know if I could have done it. Sure I have the drive, determination, strength and will to put in the hours in the gym, but without some sort of guidance, a person can get lost. And that is exactly what happens to me. I get too bogged down in the details of things, thinking I need to be pulling cables, standing on a BOSU with a resistance band tied on to boot. It shouldn't be that complicated.

Thank you for simplifying strength and making it something even a stay-at-home mother of 2 little girls can achieve. And I'm starting off 2013 with another 2 months of 5/3/1 before kicking up my Strongman events training in preparation for my next competition on April 6. I laud your program for giving me not only the strength, but the confidence to step into the unknown and start kicking some booty.

Several months ago I looked around the weight area at my gym and realized that I was the strongest woman there (disclaimer: I do train mid-morning during the week when most people are working; who's to say there aren't some strong chicks hitting the iron at different hours of the day; but for the sake of argument, I'm calling myself the strongest woman in my gym... a myth I will later disprove).

It was at that point that I told myself it was time to step up my game. And in came Jim Wendler.

I started his 5/3/1 program last summer and 3 months later went on to hit a 150-pound bench and 275-pound deadlift in competition (my PRs to date are a 165-pound bench and 300-pound deadlift). It was a small competition, but I was proud to come out with the second highest total among the women. Despite the unflattering, uncomfortable singlet required in powerlifting, I never felt more at home. It was like I had found my people.

And then I discovered the sport of Strongman and found a place, among strong women, that I truly belonged. Remember before when I described myself as the "strongest" woman at my gym? Well yeah, myth totally debunked. I had the chance to train with and learn from some of New England's strongest women (check them out here), and let me just say, I was put in my place. I was in awe of these women, of all shapes, sizes and ages, who were just incredibly strong. Strength is one thing that, despite the hours I have dedicated to it, comes relatively easily to me. I know now, though, that I have to step up my game because boy, can these ladies lift!

I closed out 2012 by competing in a Strongman couples challenge with a longtime friend. I competed among heavyweights because of our combined weights, and was finally able to see where my weaknesses lay (Atlas stones and circus dumbbells.... I am gunning for you!).

By the turn of 2013, I was already signed up for my next contest. And December 31 marked the start of the second round of 5/3/1.

So maybe this isn't really a letter to Jim Wendler. Maybe this is me just saying set a goal, find a program and go for broke. When I first started out in fitness years ago, teaching Tae Bo and group exercise classes filled with stability balls and resistance bands, I would have never guessed that I would end up pulling deadlifts like a maniac, hoisting "logs" over my head and dropping giant rocks over bars. But now that I am where I am, I wouldn't want it any other way.

5/3/1, aside from being an extremely simple and effective program, has given me a sense of community, purpose and drive. Come April 6, Mr. Jim Wendler will be right there beside me, deadlifting that car and walking Conan's wheel in competition. Find your Jim Wendler to guide you and kick some freaking butt this year.

What are your health, strength and fitness goals for this year? What are you doing to achieve them?