Goal: Re-Focus

A casual interaction I had this morning at the gym got the wheels turning in my head again. I was nearing the end of my strength training workout and waiting for the spinning instructor to arrive for the 8 a.m. class. She was late as usual, but I really love her class so I don't hold it against her. I decided to bust through one more back and biceps superset--bent-over skiers and half-way curls--when one of my gym "acquaintances" stopped me to offer a few comments.

He told me it looked like I'd dropped about 20 pounds--since when I don't know, but I'll take it. In all honesty, I have dropped about 5 pounds on the scale in the last two months, but I really don't trust scales (Check out Pauline Nordin's blog for a great post on the value of a scale). My performance in the gym has been fantastic, lifting the most I've ever lifted while squatting and bench pressing. My clothes fit better, I'm seeing some more definition, and, probably best of all, I'm feeling less tired, which is hard to say when you have 2 toddlers running around your house.

I chatted with my gym friend for a few more minutes and then he asked me something that left me... well,  speechless, for lack of a better word: if I was competing in the April show. If I hadn't set myself the goals I did earlier in the year, I would have no idea what he was talking about. But, considering I've pretty much decided to compete in some sort of figure or fitness show, I knew exactly what he was talking about. There are two figure competitions in the state of Connecticut, both about 20 minutes from where I live, in April, that I know of.

He asked me this, and I was stopped dead in my tracks, really contemplating the answer I was about to give. I wanted to be able to say yes, but again, I had waited to long to nail down exactly what it was I wanted to accomplish this year. So I told him no, that it was too soon. But the fact that he asked me that made me want to finally figure out what I have to do to get on stage.

Why am I sharing all this you may be asking? To be honest, the reason is probably pretty self-serving. Perhaps if I make a public record of my goals I may actually hold myself accountable. Maybe if I have someone watching over me, I won't be so afraid to fail.

But beyond being self-serving, I guess I'm asking you how do you stay on track with your goals? What sort of support system do you have? Who do you lean on when it seems like giving up is the only option?

I sometimes find it hard to share my most personal goals with the ones closest to me, and maybe that is at the root of my failures. The time has come to be honest with myself and own what I want. I don't think there is truly failure when your only goal is to try.